“If you are irritated by every rub, how will your mirror be polished?”
–Rumi
The Unseen Strength in Adversity
“You seem pretty put together for everything that’s going on” as I finished laying out to one of my entrepreneur friends, all of the challenges opportunities in the uncertainty we’re currently going through in both my marketing and real estate businesses.
As the waiter came up to take our lunch order, I paused to fully absorb his comment realizing two things:
- His words momentarily caught me off guard with a mix of surprise and introspection washing over me, I realized he was right. I don’t just seem put together, I feel put together, I am put together.
- Just how much I’ve grown. The person I was a decade ago (or really even pre-sabbatical), when facing such uncertainty did not and would not handle it with the same composure, which would dramatically impact my health…and the white-knuckling through it only prolonged and deepened the pain.
The Fear & Doubt
Marketing is perpetually in a state of reinvention. It’s a dance with ever-shifting technologies, changing client expectations, and evolving market dynamics. Every 3-5 years requires a refresh; every decade, a complete overhaul. Just as you think you’ve got the rhythm, the music changes; just as you think you’ve got the right people in the right seats, the road changes. Rinse and repeat.
Five years into my entrepreneurial journey, I was pretty well certain that I didn’t have what it took to be an entrepreneur and was considering throwing in the towel. It was 2008 (looking back, there were just a few things going on in the economy), I was (poorly) managing my first employee, and with an engagement ring recently placed on my now-wife’s finger, the gap between wedding costs and my company’s income was becoming a stark reality.
I remember vividly sitting in a client’s parking lot before a meeting, asking myself “What am I doing with my life?”. For someone who always had a plan and a path, sitting in that client’s parking lot teetering between despair and determination, admitting failure or doubling-down, the weight of doubt and uncertainty was crushing, making it hard to even breathe.
Nothing seemed to be going right. Everything seemed hard. And every time I talked to any other entrepreneur and asked how things were going, they all said they were kicking butt…while I was getting my butt kicked. It didn’t take a master pattern-observer to see that I was on the wrong path. That was all until I made one fateful decision that changed the course of my life.
A Turning Point with Entrepreneurs’ Organization
When I joined the EO Accelerator program (and then EO), surrounding myself with other growth-oriented leaders, who are just as willing to be open and vulnerable sharing the top and bottom 5% of life and business, I started having real, deep conversations about what was really happening in each other’s lives and businesses.
Turns out leaders are optimists by necessity, oftentimes convincing themselves and then others everything will be great until it actually does become so.
Turns out everyone was struggling and fighting just as hard as I was.
Turns out going through adversity, uncertainty, and pain is not a bug of the process but is the process.
Turns out to expect to grow without those ingredients is equivalent to going to the gym, walking around the weights but never touching one. Never lifting one. Never pushing yourself to the point of failure. Never putting in the work. Then claiming lifting weights doesn’t work because you didn’t get stronger.
Turns out once I learned my struggles didn’t mean I was on the wrong path, just that I was using new muscles in the entrepreneurial gym I stopped wishing for the weights to lighter, and doing the work to make myself stronger; to embrace the grind until it became less grinding. I was able to focus all my energy into learning how to get better. Which has continued to be my mindset for the 15+ years.
Have you ever faced a moment in your career when you doubted your path? What was the turning point for you?
The Opportunity in Uncertain Times
It is a really strange time to be in business. Some people are having record years. Some are flat. Others are getting crushed.
From my earlier experience, it can feel unbelievably demoralizing when you’re going getting your butt kicked while everyone else around you seems to be kicking butt. If you’re anything like me, feeling defeated makes it nearly impossible for me to lead with a high level of energy, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy of struggle and failure.
So if you are one of the leaders out there trying to keep your team’s energy high while wading through the stuff, remember you’re not alone. There are other leaders fighting the good fight just like you.
Either way, I’ll challenge you to find other leaders willing to have open and vulnerable conversations and have real talk. Not to commiserate and spiral each other deeper into despair, but to remind each other that this is normal, or as Ryan Holiday put it in his book, “The Obstacle is the Way.“
I constantly remind myself and my team that these challenging times are when the greatest opportunities arise. Necessity breeds innovation. When our backs are against the wall, that’s when true leadership magic happens – the creativity, the resourcefulness, the innovation. Fortunes are made in down markets and only realized in up ones.
Look around your business.
The changes and innovations you’re implementing today are laying the foundation for your success in the next five years, I know that is happening inside my organization in an amazing way. Align with your team, and use these challenges as a catapult to emerge stronger, to emerge with momentum and energy.
As seasoned leaders (and humans) know, “This too shall pass.” Draw inspiration from the journeys of others. Remind your team of the innovations born out of previous challenges. Keep focused on the future, for today’s hardships pave the way for tomorrow’s prosperity.
But most of all, know you are not alone.
The Lesson to Learn
During times of adversity, it is easy to forget that you’ve done it before, or as I repeatedly remind myself, my team, and wife “we’ve been through worse with less”. You are strong, smart, and capable enough to lead and uplift those around you. Just because things are tough now doesn’t mean you’re not the right person for the job. It’s just the universe’s way of teaching you the lesson required to move to the next level – and unfortunately, I’ve found the universe will keep teaching me that lesson over and over until I get it through my thick skull.
Pause and ponder…
What will your 5-year-from-now-self be grateful for from this time?
Look back 5 years, 10 years ago during a time of uncertainty. What did that make possible for you today?
Embrace the Rubs
Reflecting on Rumi’s wisdom, ‘If you are irritated by every rub, how will your mirror be polished?’, I realize that every challenge we face as leaders is not just an obstacle, but a necessary part of our growth journey. These ‘rubs’ are what shape us, refine us, and ultimately unlock our true potential. Our path isn’t about avoiding these challenges; it’s about embracing them, learning from them, and using them to become the resilient, adaptive, and impactful leaders the world needs us to be.
As we navigate the highs and lows of our leadership journey, remember that these are the moments that define us. They are opportunities to demonstrate our resilience, to innovate, and to grow not just as business leaders, but as individuals. The lessons we learn today lay the groundwork for our tomorrow’s successes, both personally and professionally.
So, as I remind myself, I also remind you: cherish the journey, with all its challenges and triumphs. There is no “if-only destination” to arrive at where the clouds will part and the angels will sing – no problems, no business. Our path is about continuous growth, learning, and leading with energy – every. single. day. These moments, as challenging as they are, will soon be the “good old days”– the times when we were in the fight, building something truly great.
Lead with energy, and embrace each rub as an opportunity to polish your mirror and see yourself and your path more clearly. This is the essence of our journey as leaders and as human beings.
Lead With Energy,
Derek
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